1. |
Hiding In Your Thoughts
04:02
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baby you couldn’t love me if you wanted
but maybe you could look me in the eye
baby if you wanted you could have me
but that’s far too much to ask
so i’ll try to say goodbye
but everything that i want
is everything that you got
and everything that you want
is everything that i’m not
so every day i still wait for you to say
that all this time i’ve been hiding in your thoughts
once she passed me on the street
i couldn’t get to sleep in perfect dark
i said i missed her
but i failed to consider
the overwhelming intensity of the quote marks
but everything that i want
is everything that you got
and everything that you want
is everything that i’m not
so every day i still wait for you to say
that all this time i’ve been hiding in your thoughts
so if you call me and i answer very calmly
I’m only trying to keep from breaking down
your cheeks, stained with rain, are out of reach,
all the same,
i will forever be around
‘cause everything that i want
is everything that you got
and everything that you want
is everything that i’m not
so every day i still wait for you to say
that all this time i’ve been hiding in your thoughts
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2. |
Slacker City
03:22
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smoking cigarettes on the bluffs
staring out into the bay
the sun don’t rise over the ocean
but i’m waiting on the break of day
fall in love with every girl on the metro
never even ask for names
lived a thousand lives inside my head
by the time i get off the train
i’m back in slacker city
i’m back in the slow lane
i’m back to feeling shitty
‘cause i’m back to my old ways
picking stars off of the ground
throwing ‘em into the sky
i know they’ll wind up right where i found ‘em
but hell, it’s worth a try
try to keep your troubles away
see how long you can
the ground takes you where it wants to go
in the city built on sand
i’m back in slacker city
i’m back in the slow lane
i’m back to feeling shitty
‘cause i’m back to my old ways
got high and watched the sun go down
her fingers slowly wrapped around
the cigarette in her mouth
said
“i’ll die before i leave this town"
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3. |
Off-Off-Broadway
02:34
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you’ve cast it in your head
now it’s time to push it
your play could save the world
if the edge of the world was bushwick
you’re gonna piss the whole world off
from your little basement theatre
and everyone would lose their shit
if only they could see it
when you’re financially secure
you’ll practice what you sell
in your off-off-broadway plays
where the crowds applaud themselves
when you win your pulitzer
you’ll put it on your shelf
and pretend that you don’t care
just to justify yourself
you’re such a starving artist
cuz you only order drinks
keep an empty moleskine
so people know you think
you devised a piece this morning
whatever the hell that means
you and me more the same
than either one would like to seem
when you’re financially secure
you’ll practice what you sell
in your off-off-broadway plays
where the crowds applaud themselves
when you win your pulitzer
you’ll put it on your shelf
and pretend that you don’t care
just to justify yourself
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4. |
Wasted
02:46
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she’s a perfectionist, she knows she could do better
than that boy next to her who wishes she would settle
when she smiles at him, he knows he has to try
when he strikes out again, he goes home and cries
i wasted all my time
wasted all my time
when she met him she thought
“hey, this guy’s really something”
“i can talk to him for hours, without him trying to fuck me”
but it turned out he had a classic case of nice guy
and every time he sings his love
she turns away and sighs
i wasted all my time
wasted all my time
he calls up all his friends to try to share his pain
but the truth is they’re all sick of hearing him complain
so they decide to do something without him tonight
so he sits alone and says,
with no one to confide in,
i wasted all my time
wasted all my time
she goes home alone and she undoes her laces
the news ain’t looking good and neither is her paycheck
why did she move out here?
why does she even try?
with no one there to hear, she hangs her head and cries
i wasted all my time
wasted all my time
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5. |
If I Had A Choice
03:19
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i remember when i met you in the checkout line
and suddenly i knew that i had to make you mine
and the next day i saw you in the produce aisle
dropped an apple at your feet and somehow made you smile
now i love you for your words
and i love you for your voice
oh i think that i’d still love you even if i had a choice
i love the way you hold me
in my dreams
‘cause i know that you’re the one that i’ll be waking up to see
and now that we are one i really don’t know what to do
‘cause i spent my whole life in the absence of you
so now i’ll love the ever graying color of your hair
as we pass the years away
in our matching rocking chairs
i love you for your words
and i love you for your voice
oh i think that i’d still love you even if i had a choice
i love the way you hold me
in my dreams
‘cause i know that you’re the one that i’ll be waking up to see
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6. |
Over
05:15
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i don’t have the words to tell you that it’s over
so i’ve given all i could to write it down
tried so hard to be the person that i thought you needed
but i think you put that person in the ground
i don’t have the heart to tell you that i’m leaving
but i can’t take it anymore
thought you were the only person that could see me
but you’re the one who made me so unsure
i might be wrong
you might be perfect
i’ll take my chances on my own
darling, your cover’s blown
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7. |
89.9
02:44
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all this time, you’ve been stringing me along
but i’m grateful, if only for the songs
now the time has come to kiss your ass goodbye
catch me next on 89.9
it’s cool if you don’t want me now
but you’re gonna regret it
when you see my name in lights someday
(if you don’t forget it)
now don’t get me wrong, you don’t owe me a thing
but maybe you could try to cool it with the winks
i wrote a song to tell myself i’m moving on
so i could pretend that you will miss me when i’m gone
it’s cool if you don’t want me now
but you’re gonna regret it
when you see my name in lights someday
(if you don’t forget it)
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8. |
Elena
02:49
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if you wanna cry just let me know
and i’ll drown in your tears
if you want to play your piano
baby i’m all ears
i can feel you dying by my side
you think you’re all alone
but i’ve been waiting for you my whole life
and i want you to know
that i don’t wanna wait no more
to climb out of the waves
you got siren’s blood inside your veins
elena
you and me are trapped inside our lives
and there’s no escape
but i could keep you warm all through the night
and it would be okay
don’t know what is just holding you in place
you’ve got to let it go
the world is waiting just to see your face
let’s go put on a show
i don’t wanna wait no more
to climb out of the waves
siren’s blood runs runs through your veins
elena
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9. |
Wake Up Happy
03:45
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everybody told me i would get the hang of it
if i just buckled up and hung around
now i’m swinging from a tree i planted with my wit
although i feel i’m inches from the ground
everybody told me that the world would be unkind
i thought they meant for everyone but me
now i provide solutions to every problem except for mine
and that’s the way it’s always gonna be
i wanna miss my prime
because i’m sick of laughing
i wanna close my eyes
i wanna wake up happy
i woke up this morning and the world i knew was gone
i don’t know why i acted so surprised
every now and then i fall apart and then move on
yet another part of me excised
give me some ambrosia or give me cyanide
at this point they would probably taste the same
teach me to be happy or at least how to survive
help me through what i can never change
i wanna miss my prime
because i’m sick of laughing
i wanna close my eyes
i wanna wake up happy
everybody calls me when their shoes are filled with lead
asking how to climb out of the grave
begging for advice with a gun up to my head
how am i gonna make it to 28?
i don’t have the strength to keep choking back my tears
i’m only really honest when i cry
put me in a coma and i’ll sleep for 40 years
and wake up when i’ve left it all behind
i wanna miss my prime
because i’m sick of laughing
i wanna close my eyes
i wanna wake up happy
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10. |
Fall Into Blue
03:44
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here you are again out on the brink
a year into what they call adulthood
haven’t accomplished much of anything
and you don’t wanna be so alone
but you don’t have a home to go back to
here you are in new york, all grown up
but you’re no wiser than you were
grate your teeth at night and don’t get up
and you think you’re so mature
but you don’t have the verve to be a person
you don’t wanna be young
but you’re afraid of being old
and you’re sick of being dumb
so you do what you’re told
and you stand in your own way
‘cause you don’t want to see the day
when it all falls out behind you
and all the days you thought you’d never miss
are the only times you’ve ever been happy
just remember when you’d never been kissed
and you thought it’d all fall into place
but you just got entered in a race that you can’t win
now you’re everything you’re supposed to be
but you’re still crying in the sandbox
guess we’ll all just have to wait and see
if you’ll be what your parents hoped you’d be
or if you’ll get old and wish that you had died at seventeen
you don’t wanna be old
but you’re afraid of being young
and you’re sick of sucking your thumb
but the world’s so fucking cold
you need everything you lack
but you can’t ever go back
so now we fall into blue
you’re gonna have to see this through
and someday this will all be in the past tense
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Cashel O'Malley New York, New York
Cashel is a songwriter and producer based in New York.
He is a member of Thelma Collective.
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